Archive for December, 2013

It has been far too long since My last blog update. ¬†One reason being, I was too busy being awesome in Bangkok, Thailand and Bagan, Myanmar for My birthday. ¬†The trip started with a 15 hour flight from Atlanta, GA to Seoul, South Korea. ¬†I got My first taste of Asia as I was boarding the flight. ¬†I was mesmerized by the beautiful flight attendants, men and women. ¬†They were MUCH friendlier than any airline Ive flown in the US. ¬†They proved ‘excellence in flight’ while I was flying high on Korean Air. ¬† I watched a LOT of movies and listened to audio books on the way there. ¬†The excitement prevented Me from getting My beauty rest.ME

RIP coqui, lost in a south korean bathroom

RIP coqui, lost in a south korean bathroom

We boarded our connecting flight (6 hours) to Bangkok, Thailand. ¬†I arrived to the hotel at 10pm and went for a bite to eat around the corner from the hotel. ¬†I went to bed immediately after. ¬†In just 7 short hours, We would be meeting our first friend for the first tour. ¬†For My birthday celebration, I picked animal day!!! ¬†The day started early with Our cab driver waiting for Us in the lobby of the hotel. ¬†He drove Us to Kanchanaburi for the elephant adventure. ¬†We stopped ¬†for very strong, tiny cups of coffee. ¬†They were a delight, but I had to add so much sugar. ¬†Before arriving to the elephant’s home, the driver stopped so We could pick up bananas to feed Our new friends. ¬†It is important to feed the elephants before riding them. ¬†No one wants to set off onto the dirt pathways with a hungry elephant!! ¬†I fed My elephant at least 6 bunches of bananas and spent a few minutes getting to know her. ¬†Full Moon, My Girlfriend, and I set off to ‘quiet river’ to splash around.

feeding full moon bananas

feeding full moon bananas

elephant bath¬† ¬†It was like getting sprayed with a fire hydrant. ¬†This was very fun until I’m told to get on the elephant and held onto her ears. ¬†Then the elephant starts thrashing around back and forth (think mechanical bull). ¬†While I’m afraid for My life, this was actually one of her “tricks”. ¬†I was supposed to hold on and ride her without falling off. ¬†ūüė¶ thumbs down for elephant rodeo. ¬†Next was the tiger temple. ¬†I enjoyed seeing the monks interact with the big cats. ¬†This was far less hands on than the prior elephant trip. ¬†We did‚Ķwhite people shit‚Ķand pet the tigers ūüėÄ ¬†It made Me so happy to have been able to be engaged in some rough petting. ¬†I was into it until he rolled over. ¬†Then I was like…

eeeek!

eeeek!

Later, I found out I was the only one who wasn’t pretending to pet them.

sexy time happened here

sexy time happened here

After a much needed shower and sexy time, we mustered up a little more energy to have authentic Thai dinner, paid for by lezzilover. ¬†We found Ourselves on a tuk tuk to a “ping pong show”. ¬†This was a very memorable part in My trip, as Ive never seen anything like it. ¬† My girlfriend and I pay approximately $30 USD total for Our admission and first drink. ¬† I take a seat and watch as the Thai women show off their tricks. ¬†I saw about 20 different acts total. ¬†Of them included a woman shooting ping pong balls out of her vagina with the help of ¬†a pelvic thrust and the hopes to make it into a beer pitcher that was at the other end of the ¬†stage, lady has a marker in her vag and squats to write (perfectly legible english) welcome to thailand, smoking cigarettes with her vagina, blowing a whistle with her vag, and other tricks. ¬†The finale was a woman being placed in very flexible positions while being penetrated by the Thai partner. ¬†Now I can say I was amazed by the casualty of stripping off panties instead of tops as they do in most American strip clips. ¬†However, I was in awe at the crown in which I was surrounded. ¬†I saw Indian men trying to covering their raging boners, Muslim women (fully covered) in the front row watching with intent, and all the walks of life between. ¬†Like most strip clubs, no photos for the horny reader, but believe ME, kink is everywhere!!!

Next, I filed for My visa to Myanmar, had lunch, and set out for My first Thai massage. ¬†It was very rough and dry. ¬†The male masseuse was bending Me and pushing on Me. ¬†It was nothing like I’d expected. ¬†I loved it and wish I would have got one every day! ¬†Sight seeing and shopping of course.

hanging out in Bangkok

hanging out in Bangkok

Two short plane rides later and I was checking into Bagan, Myanmar or “Temple Town”. ¬†When in Temple Town, tour temples. ¬†And that We did. ¬†On electric motor bikes, We toured the beaten and unbeaten pathways to get lost in the labyrinth of temples, pagodas, and people. ¬†The people, the culture, and cuisine were stunning. ¬†I did not meet one mean Burmese person on My trip. ¬†After getting caught in a heavy downpour, We decided to head back to Our hotel to dry off and have dinner. ¬†While in Bagan, I fell in love with a vegetarian restaurant called the moon. ¬†yummy!! ¬†We went on a quest to see how the locals live. ¬†During this tour We tried totti (Thai moonshine made from fermented coconut) and saw them making peanut oil. ¬†My tip to Myanmar was another highlight of My Southeast Asia trip. ¬†I can say I am very grateful for being able to see the country before it’s true essence is ripped away by it’s progress. ¬†It was a very humbling experience.

with Our guide

with Our guide

Myanmar

Myanmar

hotel pool

hotel pool

While relaxing poolside, I noticed someone cleared My amazon wish list!!! ¬†Since I had not been around online consistently I thought this was a joke. ¬†I was skeptical for the next few days until a friend back home went by Our place and confirmed it “looks like Christmas came early.” ¬†I only know that MCP bought all of that from the few gift receipts amazon provided. ¬†he still never stepped up to claim a prize or even take his pat on the head. ¬†thanks anyways dork. ¬†I’ll be sure to brag more about My birthday binge in a future blog.

poolside drinks

poolside drinks

towel pets in Bagan

towel pets in Bagan

There was a marionette show at the hotel each night we stayed.  It was amazing to see the woman move her little puppets around wight the flick of her wrist.  It reminded Me of how easy it is to manipulate My own puppets.  I have them on a string, right at the end of My fingertips, waiting to serve.

Temple Town

Temple Town

We tried every beer We came across in Southeast Asia.

We tried every beer We came across in Southeast Asia.

Back on a plane to Bangkok where We attend the ladyboy show at the Calypso Cabaret. ¬†For those of you who don’t know about ladyboys, I’ll help you TRANSVESTITES . ¬†Professional cross dressers. ¬†Though not all aim to be identified as women, some men were in the skit just to dance with these beauties. ¬†They looked fabulous. ¬†There is a reason it is the number one ladyboy (drag) show in the world. ¬†Most of these hotties had their packages hidden well. ¬†I was looking for the bulge between the legs, but as you can see in the pictures these ladies are flawless.

ladyboy show was FABULOUS!

ladyboy show was FABULOUS!

Front row seating, OBVIOUSLY

Front row seating, OBVIOUSLY

After seeing the ladyboy show, I decided I’d stop to see what the fish pedicure was all about. ¬†I kept seeing these booths that have live fish that suck the dead skin off your feet for a perfect pedi. ¬†I have very sensitive feet and am always hesitant when it comes to anything touching them unless its footwear or My GF’s mouth. ¬†Once I have enough courage, I dip My feet into the water with the fish and instantly start squirming, squealing, and screaming “I can’t take this.” We are laughing so hard the fish kept leaving due to My thrashing around. ¬†I don’t think I would do this again.

fish pedi

fish pedi

Our last day We tried to keep it low key and not be out all day, but that did not happen.  We went on a hunt for some shoes and ended up at a salon getting Thai massage, mani, and pedi.  We were so busy enjoying our pampering that we had to rush to get back to the hotel in time to freshen up before our long flight.

foot massage

foot massage

This was also the BEST pedi of My entire life. ¬†I can’t even explain what about it was so amazing, other than a 6 step process, but it was grand. ¬†The rest is history and pleasant memories. ¬†We made our way to the airport, luggage seams ready to burst. ¬†I’m glad Our teak wood carving made it safely back to the states. ¬†My Lady and I stayed an extra day in Atlanta to visit with Her Mother. ¬†When We finally made it home to St. Louis, I was excited to see all the presents at MY door waiting for ME. ¬†What a perfect end to a great trip. ¬†The boys that contributed to the trip, received special pictures. ¬†I know it feels good to spend you cash to sit back and watch a gorgeous woman travel the world and see all of its glory. ¬†Keep contributing to My next vacation fund. ¬†It could be YOU getting pictures in your email or via text.