Archive for the ‘bikini’ Category

Recently, I had to turn down a potentail local slave.  I can’t believe I have to repeat this, but if you cannot manage paying, and paying often, then you need NOT apply.  However, there was one local boy who has been sending gifts and tributing for small requests (via Twitter/text) that I offer to those with less endowed wallets.  Later, he paid to meet Me in person.  he took My Girlfriend and I to lunch. where I determined he was not a murderer.  On the contrary, My Lady and I could smell the virgin seeping through his pores, which We later humiliated him about.  Check out the clips he was blessed to be a part of.  Now go thank ME!!!

I recently thought My Mac died, but it turns out it just needed an internal battery.  Now that I have My computer back, I will be updating My smut more often. Send $300 for the MacBook repairs and be thankful you are not faced with the burden of buying Me a brand new one.

Throughout the summer I went to multiple music festivals.  One of which My GF and I were given VIP tickets and one paid for by lezzielover.  I visited St. Louis just long enough to hand deliver My mother’s birthday gift and visit TheAsianGoddess.  We seem to get less than thrilling fans calling Our Niteflirt when We are together.

atl

nf

lezzielover has been keeping his distance, but he can’t resist dropping cash in My greedy hands from time to time.  However, he still manages to send simple cash envelopes with varying amounts from $100-$500.  I often send this old cuck pictures of My Girlfriend and I.  This is a snapshot of Us having hot tea in Our back yard.  his pervy mind can’t help but to do what he has been conditioned to do- SPEND.  he knows the purpose of his life to is be USEFUL to ME.  Being able to contribute to My lifestyle gives him purpose.

buns

My longest serving Footboy got engaged and thought he would be able to quit Me.  This is hilarious for a multitude of reasons.  Do you think he quit paying to jerk off to My perfect curvy soles??  NOOoo.  Instead I insisted he pay more.  One app in particular makes his dick twitch.  When he hears the crash register sound as I request money his one eyed snake is activated.  This has led to him jerking it while repeating the truth: like how much of a lifelong slave he has been and will continue to be, how jerking off to Me is so much better than sex with his fiancé, he is only good for paying, and how I always want MORE!!!

feet

Now he pays, recovers, and spends again, and again, and AGAIN.  I happen to enjoy conditioning him that the only pleasure he brings Me is with his wallet.  Boy brains are so easy to manipulate, especially when they are hard and ready to release their poison.

Be sure to leave a tip that will get My attention when buying clips one at a time.iwctrib <<<<-Like this guy.

Many of My fans that follow Me on twitter have been given much less attention.  There will be more mini blogs and all pictures and video snippets worth seeing are posted to My follow+ account.  For those of you that are new to this, it is a PAID site that allows you access to the most exclusive pictures and allowing you to send tips for the content that you makes you twitch.

I recently had a cum guzzling sissy who was ready to take on a new Glory Hole.  We went on a double date of sorts.  she set off to get her mouth abused while I was enjoying drinks and dancing at a gay club here in Houston.  she paid for the pleasure of Our “date” and for this picture I sent her at the end of My night. The next day she sent an email about how horrible she felt, describing it as full of disrespect, and low on dignity.

I’ve been trying to live simply.  Which means I have been purging old stuff and selling Savage souvenirs.  $100 for worn panties/bikini, $50 for socks

My birthday is September 22nd.  Be sure to show your appreciation for your Goddess and send cash, presents, and gift cards. Tributes flatter Me so make them fat and juicy. Send to MsKatieSavage@gmail.com I should not be paying for ANY of My birthday celebrations.  This includes a new bicycle ($900), tickets to Madame Butterfly ballet ($400), and shopping!

 

 

It has been far too long since My last blog update.  I’ll try to keep it short and only highlight the big stuff.  We know I like to start My blog talking about ME, so I will give you quick rundown on the fun I’ve been having thus far.  I’ve been to a major league baseball game, with tickets in the luxury suites of course.  I took My Girlfriend and dogs camping and floating.  I love to be outside, but I’m not so fond of bugs.  I bet you wish it was *you* searching Our hot naked bodies for ticks.  hahaha  Keep dreaming, loser. I’d rather die of lyme disease than have you see My private lady parts.  Summer has come and gone.  I was busy outdoors. There is so much more to My life than sitting around the house waiting by My pretty Macbook for some loser to message Me.  I prefer to hear My phone chime, alerting Me while I’m out that I’ve received tribute while I’m out having fun. An adoring message after a payment is always sure to put a smile on My gorgeous face. Don’t you just love seeing Me spend your cash on My luxury lifestyle while you pay for My travels. I visited Chicago, Atlanta, and in September I went to Mexico for a week,  which was slave paid.  Then not even three moths later I took another week-long beach vacation to Puerto Rico.  I just can’t stress how much I love to spend old man money.  I spent  Southwest gift cards sent by KC slave to surprise My Girlfriend in Texas for Valentine’s Day.

VIP ONLY

VIP ONLY

sunning My buns

sunning My buns

beautiful Mexico

beautiful Mexico

bikini babe

bikini babe

windy chi town

windy chi town

Playa Negra

Playa Negra

buns in the sun

buns in the sun

Playa sucia with My favorite red bikini

Playa sucia with My favorite red bikini

With as busy as I’ve been, certainly you don’t expect Me to sit around and type up a little story for you to read and add pictures for you to jerk off too? By the way, I do occasionally look to see what you hand humpers are searching to find My site.  I can’t help but notice how many of you find My blog by searching for lesbian strap on mistress or lesbian money Domme. The things you search always seem to make Me chuckle. I bet you would love to be held down and double teamed by My hot GF and I, penetrated with a big thick strap on, with the force of My sexy ass behind it.

can you handle it??

can you handle it??

I’ve had quite a few inquisitions about Me and My sexy strap on.  I will only say this once.  Asking a Domme about Her strap on before you send a payment or an initial tribute is a horrible first impression.  Have you no tact?  It’s the equivalent to asking a girl to fuck before you go on a date.  Not that you would know about that either, since you are a loser who only dates your hand.  I understand strap on sessions can range widely in the fetish world and it just so happens you want to find out.  Maybe you are like My socksissy who loves to suck My strap on.  She would be more than delighted to give Me head while smelling My feet.  Watching her pretend to suck cock while she smelled a pair of My previously owned socks made her cum in her panties. It is possible you can only get off to lesbian porn and strap on happens to be your favorite.  I be you’d love for Me to let you wrap your filthy, undeserving lips around My big strap on and let Me fuck your face with it.  I like to laugh at you as you have tears streaming down your pathetic face and you’re drooling like a gross dog.

I’d decided I wanted a chastity slave. And in the blink of an eye, I became a key holder to two boys lonely cucks.  How fun is it when you pay for a sexy, dominating woman to take total control of your cock and your orgasm??  Pictures and clips of Me intoxicating your mind.  Every rise of your man meat pressing against your hard, metal cage, reminding you who owns you.  And ME pointing and laughing at you.

keys to your cock

keys to your cock

beg for My sweaty gym socks

beg for My sweaty gym socks

Tinkle pig has been trying VERY hard to make My blog.  this little loser is one of the biggest sluts around.  I granted him the honor to redo his infamous hot dog trick.  The first time he did this trick he stuffed a frozen hot dog in his butt with intentions to launch it into a pot 4 feet away only to shit on his carpet and miss the target.  This time he tried with foot long hot dog and a shorter distance.  Yet he was still a failure.  SOOOO GROSSSS!! I know, right?  I like draining his wallet while he drains his bladder right onto his wrinkled old face.  I cannot count how much money I’ve taken from this fool.

tinkle pig

tinkle pig

pathetic!!!

pathetic!!!

old KC boy came out of hiding with a $500 in NF tributes during the summer!  he deleted his ‘new’ account before I could get My claws in him, then showed back up at the end of the year.  he recently purchased some wish list items for Me to take on My trip to Puerto Rico including the $300 leather book bag, 3 pairs of sandals, cute sun glasses, $200 spa finder GC, $900 in Niteflirt tributes, $600 in gift cards, and $1300 in cash.

I adore these sunnies

I adore these sunnies

yummy

yummy

MORE MORE MORE!!

MORE MORE MORE!!

My footbitch turned cuckold came through with his usual $100 but ended up getting so worked up, craving to hear how I manipulated a high school teacher with My cute little feet, that he sent another $100.  😀  I love a weak little bitch.  So easy to manipulate.  I’ve even taken his cash on ignore cam while he sits quietly at my feet, under My desk at work.  This addicted bitch cannot get enough of My soft soles and deep arches.  Currently, he is missing out on the big size 12’s of My GF who he as a crush on while she is away for business.  This is another one who I can’t count how much cash he has coughed up.

addicted

addicted

deep arches

deep arches

lezzielover comes and goes.  he binges, then runs away like a little girl.  These are his mis recent contributions to his favorite dominant lesbo couple.  he couldn’t resist paying one more time to finish off 2014.  he chose to send $700 via snail mail.  what a lucky cuck he is.

I don't even like $20 bills

I don’t even like $20 bills

ca$h

ca$h

My newest European slave who loves forced intox sessions and splurging on Me has the binge and purge process as well.  he swore Me off for his New Year’s resolution, then found himself messaging Me while I was on vacation in Puerto Rico the first week of January.  you silly boys make Me laugh, so weak with a huge lack of self-control.  I love degrading him, making him get drunk, and smoke lots of cigarettes.  I’m not going to lie, I do like a slave who can make Me laugh.  he has spent $200 in whole foods GC’s, $300 in spa finder GC’s, and $500 via amazon GC’s.  who wants to see boring pictures of that?  no one…moving on.

I’ll be selling some of My worn things for the next few months including these OLD, worn, and smelly ballet flats with very visible toe prints.  First person to send $100 with their shipping address wins this prize.

yummy

yummy

IMG_4431

 

I’m sure I forgot a few things in the past 9 months so I’ll just leave you with a few pictures summing up what I’ve been up to.

wanna bury your face in MY ass?  sure you do

wanna bury your face in MY ass? sure you do

summer nights

summer nights

My GF's view on the kayak

My GF’s view on the kayak

Can you tell I HATE you??

Can you tell I HATE you??

go fuck  yourself

go fuck yourself

kiss My ass

kiss My ass

want to kiss My soles??

want to kiss My soles??

Don’t forget that I prefer tributes in the form of cash, but if you insist on sending gift cards send to msperfectpeds@yahoo.com  We all know your hard earned cash looks better in My greedy, well manicured hands.  Presents from My Wishlist are also acceptable ways to make Me smile, but are never counted as a tribute. If you insist on buying gifts in hopes of seeing Me wearing an item or brag about how spoiled I am, keep items moving to the purchased side.  Giving to a bossy beauty and going into debt is surprisingly easy, isn’t it???  Spending on Me gives you a purpose in life.  I’ve updated My clips store….FINALLY.  The newest clip is of My Boricua GF sucking on My cute toes.  Go on and break your resolutions so I can laugh at you for letting your fetish overwhelm your will power.

If you didn’t get mentioned, it means you should be trying harder to impress Me.   Remember losers, I am Fiji water, and you are sewage.  your only purpose is to make sacrifices in your own pathetic life in order to please Me and contribute to My luxury lifestyle.

forever and always a LOSERRR

forever and always a LOSERRR

I recently traveled to Texas for My first time. Due to My own preconceived notions, I felt I couldn’t have possibly went there without My cowgirl boots. I added them to My wish list, and just in perfect timing, Twitter admirer scooped them up right before his prime membership ran out! what a good little admirer. I was so relieved the boots arrived before We left. It was so much fun hanging out with My GF’s friends and her father. Of course they all said I was soooo cute 😀  My Girlfriend took My rodeo virginity.  I was terrified it would be like watching animal torture, but it was fine.  I did clap and cheer when the cowboy wasn’t able to land his lasso and the calf got away.

boots from Twitter admirer

boots from Twitter admirer

lintlicker paid for date night drinks at Club Viva.  he was the first to inquire about payments for almost everything during the trip, except the airfare (which was paid long ago).  he coughed up cash for the cab ride to and from the airport, drinks at salsa night, as well as a small Victoria’s Secret order.  he also sent the shoes that I wore out one of the nights in Texas.  They were Über comfortable.  I bet you’d love to be the one licking Our toes clean after a night out.

wedge crew

wedge crew

lint licker has been spending frivolously for My attention. while he is all alone on the east coast, wishing he was My local bitch, I give him vanilla tasks to perform. to make up for the lost servitude between the miles. he spent hundreds on My amazon wish list and in cash transfers.  I’m not going to waste My time adding pictures because who isn’t tired of seeing crap from amazon placed nicely in a pile.  And the cash deposited is for Me to know and for you to ponder.  It’s a shame more businesses don’t support adult transactions.  It is also a shame he disappeared after his roommate found My smelly leather flats in his room.  his embarrassment level is at an all time high, so I am giving him some space until things die down over that way.

A semi local boy finally came crawling out of the woodwork to spend a little. I say semi local, because I don’t think a 4 hour drive is so local, but whatever.  he was hoping for real time servitude.  I don’t usually meet losers from the internet.  First they must prove themselves useful and trustworthy.  Pain slut came bearing gifts of cash, cookies, and wine.

KC loser

KC loser

I was delighted to say the least.  First order of business I made him hang My curtains.   It was comical watching his nervousness pour out of him in the form of sweat.  I was nice and took out some aggression with a thick leather belt.  I had such a good time, I even let My GF get in a few good licks.  I made him close his eyes so I could slap him across his face.  Needless to say, he will be back for more abuse.  his summer goal is to purchase tickets to a baseball game so he can treat Me to drinks, ballpark fun, and have some light humiliation while being blessed with My good company. lucky him.

footboy is such a loser.  I love teasing and humiliating him.  he is soooo weak.  he has been serving Me for almost three years, so I know EXACTLY how to push his buttons.  I sit back and giggle at how easy it is to control him with my soft wrinkled soles. he tested his new found love beneath My glorious booty.  he eventually realized My juicy bum was no place for a lowly bitch like himself.  Back under the power of My curvy peds is the only position he could ever imagine getting a stiffy. I’ve noticed a trend with many of My subs.  They eventually turn into cuckolds.  There’s something about two lipstick lesbians that you can’t help but wonder what goes on between the sheets.  Our soft, pedicured feet rubbing on each other.  Just imagine, you could be at the foot of My bed.  My personal footboard cuckold.  A dream job left exactly where it started…in your dreams, loser.

I’ve even done a few custom clips lately.  Small penis humiliation is always fun.  Laughing at your tiny little chub in your pants is just too easy. Brat clips were created; flipping you off and telling you, “you’re a loser” while I crush your ego come naturally. One freak even paid a hefty sum for Me to film a custom clip.  Then he waited for My underarm hair to grow so I could show off My hairy pits. The hardest task was growing out my underarm hair for a particular kinkster.  I’ve never seen such hairy underarms on a woman.  teehee.

I’ve just recently returned from another vacation in Puerto Rico.   Footboy paid Me back for the ticket via GR.  I love being so spoiled!!  I always have a good time there.  I did step on a sea urchins after I’d been poking one just minutes before.

beach babes

beach babes

If you want bikini pictures, you’ll have to pay for them.  As far as I’m concerned, I need every vacation to be warm with somewhere to swim.

Spring is here and I want more cute sunglasses and sandals.  Bikinis and flip flops for the summer.  I worship the sun, and you worship Me.  Shop My wish list and send gift cards!! The camera, sandals and bikinis are at the top of My must have items if you want to be on My good side. I have 4 cameras, but what’s one more??? Send bikinis because I look so hot in them. Duhh. I want to see you buying gifts and sending your pitiful loser cash. If you think you’ve done enough, you probably haven’t. Step it up and send extra gifts.  Contribute; it feels good.  Just don’t think you will get something in return.  Gifting Me is a gift in itself.

The busy summer life of a Princess doesn’t have time to sit around the computer and write blogs for your perving enjoyment.  If you were actually interested, you would be following Me on twitter. Since I have not updated My blog in over THREE months, I will stick to the fun parts.  As always, let’s talk about what has been going on with Me.  I’ve been busy with vanilla life and graduation parties, weddings, and other great things that require My attention. Vacation in Puerto Rico was a ton of fun, but super busy.  I never tire of going there!  We traveled to the two smaller islands, Culebra and Vieques as well.  Beautiful people, the beach, food, drinks, and My Lady.

the view in Puerto Rico

the view in Puerto Rico

My summer >> your summer

My summer >> your summer

fun in the sun

fun in the sun-Vieques

When We ventured to Vieques the following day to see the Bioluminesence Bay.  It was very difficlut to get a good still image or on video.  It is one of those wonders of the world that you just have to see in person, and it was amazing.  When We arrived back at the main land, we just relaxed and went to the beach.  Family festivities and MORE graduation parties left Me eating like a local.

do your duty toilet slave

do your duty toilet slave

We ended the last day of the trip with a 2+ mile hike uphill and the way down was steep, making it almost as challenging as the trek up.  The view at the mountain peak  and the moist kiss of the wispy clouds passing you by is that of no other.

did that

did that

Upon My descend back to reality, I found that on Our hike I’d acquired a blister on each foot.  Ouch!  Where are the foot boys when you want them to rub your smelly, tired feet??   An unexpected overnight stay in our connecting city was even more of a hassle.  Thankfully the bed was fit for Queens and I fell asleep with My clothes still on.  I was sad to see vacation end, but so relieved to be back on solid ground.

Back to taking advantage of weak minded males.  I came back to find one particular loser being his typical slut self and allowed him to humor Me with a few amazon Gift Cards.  he was begging for attention while I was at My Girlfriend’s graduation.  Let Me make this clear: If I’m on vacation, and you are not already contributed to My fun and happiness, be prepared to pay double to get My attention.   If you can’t pay double, then F U C K off.  I surely don’t NEED your money, losers.  I won’t chase you when you wave a $100 at Me.  That’s not My bag 😉

My addicted footbitch, turned cuckold, has been dying to see My feet, but I’ve been too busy for him.  Not only is he weak for My curvy high arches, but he has a HUGE crush on My hottie Girlfriend.

want some butter with that spread??

want some butter with that spread??

We giggle and laugh when he compliments the dimples in Her cheeks and her long soles.  As if he would ever have a chance.  Haaahahaha Keep dreaming, bitch.

I’ve spent most of My summer ruining your demented little minds and soaking up the sun.

sexy strapless top

sexy strapless top

you work; I play

you work; I play

My favorite skimpy bikini

My favorite skimpy bikini

I went on a road trip to Atlanta, GA to visit family.  I had so much fun!  I love when then horny boys call My NiteFlirt lines.  It made the drive a lot better when I listed My calling price at the price of gas in each state.  you pay, while I travel.  It’s the only logical thing to do.  I ate at the best greek restaurant around!  We came home with a cute new bike too.  Where are the local slaves when you need one to assemble your bike and take out the recycling???

I met another real time potential boy.  he is so short and I love to make fun of him.  After many times of having him flake out at the last minute, I decided I’d allow him to meet Me.  THis consisted of him driving by My house, handing Me some cash for baseball tickets, and driving away.  HAHAHAHA  what a timid little loser.  I sure will take your cash and laugh as you drive away in under 60 seconds.

Hmmm what else?  I’ve helped plan a wedding this summer with My super hot friend, you may have heard of Her

We are professionals when it comes to spending your money

We are professionals when it comes to spending your money

Unless you have been living under a rock, you know I am going to Thailand near the end of September/My birthday, in just over two weeks.  I want to do lots of shopping, visit an elephant sanctuary, and see lots of lady boys while in Bangkok.  I cant wait to experience everything while Im there. I expect you to step your game up and secure your position.  So make sure you do a good job of sending Me spoiling money or the less fortunate can still buy a few of the audiobooks or send iTunes, and amazon gift cards for Me to download new media for the 15+ hour flight.   Cash over gifts as always preferred.   I want Niteflirt and clips4sale tributes.   Other tribute payments are also accepted.  It’s always more fun spending your money anyways.  Know your place, open your wallets, and pay for My happiness.  (MsKatieSavage @ gmail .com) Later losers.

While Spring was welcoming most of us with snow, I was shacked up drinking hot tea and planning My next vacations.  Not one, but two vacations!!  First, My Lady and I will be headed to Puerto Rico the first week of June.  I cannot wait to go back!!  I love the people, the food, and of course la playa.  Send those gift cards for airfare and bikinis.  A hot Lady like Myself can never have enough bikinis.  The second vacation destination: THAILAND!  What a beautiful place to celebrate My Birthday. The timing for this trip is impeccable.  Though this trip is already paid for, I expect you male deviants to do your part to pay Me back ASAP.  Cuckolds should really step their game up, as the rewards for good behavior are irresistible.   Nothing like hot vacation sex to tease you with.  There are so many things to do in Thailand, and I LOVE getting new stamps on My passport. you should be paying for things that I LOVE in life.  That is your only purpose in life.  My fat piggy came back around spending a measly $300 to be laughed at and humiliated by 3 Women.

Spend more

Spend more

Even the dog is questioning those noises

Even the dog is questioning those noises

Later, I hung up on piggy  for taking his sweet ass time to follow simple tasks.   Do not contact Me if you are not actually a submissive.  If I tell you I want something done, I want it done that specific way.   I don’t want to hear you make up 10 excuses why you cant do it, or the 100 other ways you would like to tribute/jerk off.  Follow instructions or get tossed to the wind.

Another newbie comes around to spend his loser cash.  the vanilla guy wanted to dabble in the fetish world, reeled in by My luscious ass.  he is NOT the brightest gem ive come across.  In fact, he is dumb.  I like My boys rich, dumb, and horny.  The male mind is so easily manipulated this way.  you boys are getting too easy to take over.  sometimes, I prefer fresh meat.  They don’t ask as many questions and they don’t even try to waste My precious time.  They just take what they are given and are satisfied.

My FAV tribute option

My FAV tribute option

My dinero donkey has been off to a slow start, but we are trying to fix some commitment issues since he’s never had a girlfriend over 3 months.  haaaha.  what a loser.  It shouldnt take long to mold him into shape.

A former foot boy is begging for forgiveness.

luck little BITCH

lucky little BITCH

Surprise, surprise!!  This is the loser I met in real time, aka the lonely imp who bought My pretty MacBook Air, then proceeded to insult Me.  Another “submissive” guy who doesn’t know his place.  he is VERY luck I did not air his dirty bed sheets to his employer for his royal fuck up.  This loser couldn’t follow orders to send a gift card, so he thought he’d spend and call My Niteflirt.  Hey retard, you could have just paid Me the $150 you spent trying to call Me on NF.  If you cant cough up the cash, I cannot accept your shitty, empty apology.  Try harder!!

I’ve received a few packages this week.  Most of them I’ve been too anxious for their arrival, so I neglected to take pictures of them before I opened them. Among the list of things, are another set of bed sheets( The satin ones are so slippery!  ), shoes, a new dress, and sweater, and imported cooking oil (because I’m a food snob).  Most items were purchased by a new boy, who hasn’t been given a name thus far.  I like to make My boys actually do work, and show they can be worthy of serving Me.  I don’t like to waste My time naming them, if they wont be around for long.  I usually refer to them as numbers or ‘the bald one’.

Twitter admirer

Twitter admirer

Sale on sweaters

Sale on sweaters

3 new dresses

3 new dresses

Fit for a QUEEN

Fit for a QUEEN

Thailand possiblyDrink up

Keep sending those gift cards (gift rocket and amazon) to mskatiesavage @ gmail .com.  Come see what has the boys spending.  Skype/Yahoo IM MsKatieSavage   Weather you are applying for a position or trying to secure your position, come spend your paycheck on Moi!

My little slaves couldn’t wait for Me to come back, start posting vacation pictures, and update My blog.  It’s a shame I won’t put up more pictures of My supreme hotness.  I seriously cannot believe I have to mention AGAIN that My godaddy account still needs to be renewed.  I mentioned this BEFORE I went on vacation.  you boys think you can slack while I’m away and still reap the rewards upon My return.. WRONG.  I’ll make this more clear, if you worthless drones want to see anymore of Katie Savage, I suggest you make renewing My domain a priority.  How else do you expect to stay current on the adventures of My awesome life if you don’t pay for My domain to be around??  This is what ultimately lead Me to make the decision that there will be MINIMAL free pictures of Me in a bikini, and instead, I will make you buy the picture sets from My vacation on Niteflirt or Images4Sale.  They are so out of this world, you didn’t think I was going to give them away for free did you??  I sent out a “tease” picture on twitter and it was a HUGE hit.  Keep testing Me losers.

you deserve NOTHING!!!

On a positive note, I had so much fun in Cancun with the gorgeous Ladies.  The AG and I arrived about two hours ahead of MizLindsay and HaughtyFemDom.  Upon our arrival to the resort, We were greeted with cool towels and champagne before having our bags escorted to our suite.

from the balcony

Once We were in our suite and the coast was clear, We smoked IMMEDIATELY.  When We were finished, We headed out to the beach to put our feet in the water.  On our way out, We got busted by room service.  he asks Us if he can come in to put our champagne on ice and drop off the fruit basket with extra bottles of water.  On his was out he says how he loves the smell of our…LOTION.  We instantly burst into giggles and scurry out of the room.  This was just the first of many run ins with housekeeping.  Apparently since the AG and I roomed together, the resort concluded We were on our honeymoon!!!  They would call up to the room and ask if everything was ok, or if We needed anything.  It seemed like they were always knocking on the door to see if the room was clean enough, or give Us little treats.  One night they gave delivered little muffins, one night little cheesecakes (that We didn’t eat). We came to the room after breakfast one morning to find We had slippers to wear around the room as well.  The best part was by far the towel swan and rose petals on the bed.

Honeymooners

smile

We took it easy on the first night just chatting and drinking.  We were sure to soak up all the sun and have plenty of drinks.   On Our way back from dinner, Lindsay and AG almost convinced Me to go the strip club with Lindsay in Mexico.  At the last minute, We opted against it since We had to get up early for adventure day and, I already have a fantastic pair of Latina tots to look at.

AG wanted to stay at the resort and sun by the pool every day. However, I insisted that while in mexico, it was imperative We leave the resort.  I was excited to see a boy paid for Our $600 escursion(cost for 4)  a week before We ever left.  that is so HOT!!!  Anyways, I was dreading waking up so early for Adventure day, but it was probably one of the most fun days there.  It started with our private car picking Us up at the resort and chauffeuring Us to the shopping plaza.  Here We met our tour guide.  I originally did not plan to drive in Mexico so I didn’t bring ANY identification.  After the guide checked all of the ID’s, he announces We are ready, and it is time to pick up the keys to the Hummer.  We were the last group to get our key, and I walked right up and plucked it out of his hand(knowing he hadn’t seen My ID because when he was checking, I was reaching for a piece of gum empty handed).  He just smiled at Me and asked if I was ok to drive.  I was extremely nervous to drive in Mexico, but it subsuded once I left the parking lot.  First stop: El Rey. Our guide told about the Mayan people and yada yada yada. Next up was getting situated on the ATV’s.  Helena was My driver for the first minute until We arrived at over to the zip lines and made our way from tree to tree by the grace of those wire ropes that secured our precious ass zipping through the Mexican jungle.  Then We lined up our atv s for our trip through some back roads where I couldn’t help but to blaze through all the scalding hot mud puddles.  I thought driving this was the most fun of the day!!  Lindsay and the AG, however, may not have thought this to be the most fun part as just a few feet behind Me, they took the corner a little too wid,e trying to miss the puddle, and nearly ended our vacation early by throwing their tiny selves onto the gravel and some nearby foliage.  Thankfully they were just bruised and shaken up (literally), but they were OK.  They hopped back on their atv s and rode the rest of the way to the cenote (AKA..a cave with a tiny opening a the top with a diameter no larger than 10 feet, filled with bats, and GUANO).   hahahaa  AG was feeling the adrenaline rush by this time and she was the only one from our four woman beauty pageant to take the plunge (3 stories high).  The rest of us took the scary wooden steps to the bottom, where I ziplined into the water.  the water was surprisingly clear and didn’t smell bad or anything.  My guess is all the guano sinks to the bottom.  After drying off and chatting our tour guide’s ear off there, We ventured off yet again and arrived at a private beach for lunch.  The food was authentic and the drinks were made from fresh fruit.  Lastly, We went to the petting zoo.  There We saw macaw, HUGE alligators so big and still the dummies on our tour thought they were fake, wild mokeys that tried to steal a woman’s iphone as she was taking its picture, and lots of snakes and iguanas.  Just when I wanted to be by the pool with a drink in My hand, I realized I still had a 50 minute journey back to the plaza to return the Hummer.  Once parked, We handed over the keys to the tour guide.  In that hand also contained a rather generous tip and a stash of green since I’m sure We spooked him when he saw our two beauties on the ground in shock.  When We arrived to the resort, We decided to made it a relaxing night by putting a few bath bombs in the hot tub on our balcony.

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This seemed like a good idea at first.  Then bubbles began blowing all over the place from the strong ocean winds. We later also realized the AG and Lindsay getting into the HOT tub after getting all banged up was a terrible idea for their health.   I retired to My bed first because I was about to pass out in the hot tub from exhaustion.  We spent the entire next day at the pool with the waiter.  We did get a burst of energy and took some pictures by the ocean, but My time in the ocean was very limited.

pay up boys $$$

Since I am from a landlocked state and just recently began My ocean extravaganzas, I don’t like when the waves are so bossy.  Lindsay was supposed to be My strong-arm and keep Me a float, the next think I knew I was trying to save My hat and I was fighting to get out of the water while pulling My bottoms up.  The undertoe is very strong in front of the resorts and it was red flags all week.  I only got in to My knees from there on out, or I volunteered to be photog for one of the hot ladies.  After We retired from the sand, it was back to poolside, where We found our waiter, Ray, who had waited on Us the day before.  He, like the rest of the crowd at the pool, I couldn’t help but to stop and stare at the pretty girls taking pictures.

I absolutely LOVE this picture

the funny part is when he asks why We keep flipping off each other and looking mean.  after some simple explaining, he still didn’t get it, but he wass sure he wanted to get a picture with the dynamic foursome before We left the next day.  Who wouldn’t want to take a picture with Lindsay blue eyes, beautiful Lena, My smoking hot ass, and the gorgeous AG?!?! We got so many compliments about how We had the best group, but the compliment winner was by far AG.  She had people, older women included, go out of their way to compliment her on her beauty.  Some saying “I saw you at breakfast and you are just so beautiful.” while We were on the beach.  that means they had been admiring since breakfast!!! 😀 She’s My unicorn.

We met lots of people and had great service while on our vacation.  I loved all the attention on Us, including the Brazilian boys in the picture below.  I may be a lesbian, but I still make you males WEAK!  This was  My first time traveling with AG and it was very entertaining and I would do it again in a second.  She is the best copilot when She isn’t passed out.  It was so nice to meet Lindsay.  I knew from her pictures she was going to be a hottie, but she is even more gorgeous in person.  She has the skin of an angel that woman.  Be sure to get in line for the PTV picture sets coming soon.  Get your wallet out and send Me a message on Niteflirt to request your pictures.